I don’t really know how to begin this story, because it’s not a part of me that I have ever discussed. Only family and close friends I had during that time know it. I mean people know I had Noah when I was a teen but they don’t know every aspect of it. But as my friend Amanda said..it is a part of me, a part of who I am today. And I want to share my perspective and how I felt at the time as a teenage mom. So hopefully you guys learn something from my story or maybe you’ll just enjoy reading it.
I was at my parents house when I took the pregnancy test. I remember vividly seeing the positive result and my stomach dropping. I was scared but my first physical reaction was to hug V. I think he wasn’t sure what to do either so he kind of just hugged me back. The first person I told was my brother, crazy I know but he was the only person around other than V. and I felt like I needed to tell somebody. That night after hiding the pregnancy test in a little box in my closet I went to sleep like my life was not about to endure the biggest change. I was just 15…
I remember being in class one day sophomore year and getting extra nauseous, I had to tell my teacher I had a stomach bug so I could get out of class to use the bathroom. That was the beginning of me trying to hide my morning sickness in school and at home. I had horrible morning sickness so hiding it was a challenge for sure. I also had to explain why I was getting up so much during nighttime to use the bathroom. I think this is when my mom kinda started to suspect something was up. But she never said anything.
Telling my mom was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. She was on the phone with my aunt when I walked in her room. She told my aunt she would call her back because I had just walked in. All I said was “I’m pregnant” V was there and all of us three just stood in silence, before my mom said “you’re telling your dad” and me being the sass mouth I was said “I know and I will” and walked away like my mom was the problem. The next day my mom came home with a pregnancy test because she didn’t believe me. I took them and showed them to her and said “I wouldn’t lie about this” She then sat down and asked me what I wanted to do, I told her I wanted to keep the baby.
She then made my first prenatal appointment, because I was too young and I had to be with a parent. I was maybe 2-3 months. Walking into that appointment was an eyeopener for me. People were looking at me and giving me the wesirdest looks. I felt like an exhibit I know I was the youngest person there but it was very uncomfortable. That appointment also made me realize how much older people didn’t agree with young parents. During that appointment I met with a nurse who told me “if you change your mind about keeping this baby I know of an agency with wonderful people, you young people think kids are just like baby dolls and you’re in for a rude awakening” I walked out feeling drained for sure. But in the same light kind of relieved I was finally getting monitored and taking care of Noah.
So telling my dad was the worst part now that I think about it. This happened when I was maybe 4 months pregnant. We were all in the living room V included and out of nowhere it just came out. It literally just came out of my mouth, those word no dad wants to hear their daughter say. “I’m pregnant” he looked at me in disbelief and shook his head and said “ no you’re joking” you could tell it hurt him to hear me say that. But at this age guys I really didn’t care I was in a weird stage with my dad. Our relationship wasn’t the best and I blamed him. So I didn’t care if he was hurt or not. I think it didn’t really hit how much I truly cared till I showed him a sonogram a few weeks later of Noah. He told me “why didn’t you wait” and he got quiet after that. My stomach still drops when I think back to that day. It hurts now for sure.
School wise everybody was nice for the most part, I did get the stares here and there. I got asked a few questions and some of my teachers were disappointed, but they eventually got over it and they were part of my support system. My family was supportive especially my godmother and godfather they were so encouraging and they never made me feel out of place. I passed all my classses and I went on to be a junior.
During the summer before junior year started I spent my days going to appointments and preparing for Noah. My room and closet were no longer mine they became Noah’s. I was constantly mad at myself for feeling the way I felt I started feeling angry. Angry because I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that it was all changing and so fast. I had enough time to prepare but I wasn’t ready whatsoever. I acted like I was but I really wasn’t. When junior year started I was 8 months pregnant, I was huge and so uncometable . Y’all Texas weather is no joke it was hot as hell and I wasn’t fond of it.
Junior year was short lived because that same day I went to the my appointment and my ob told me I need to be home. So she’s wrote a letter and filed paper work to have me home until I gave birth. My ankles were swollen and I was miserable so she wanted me to be comfortable and to rest as much as I could. While I was homeI still had homework dropped off so I wouldn’t fall behind. A teacher would come to the house and help me with homework.
On August 27, 2008 I started leaking amniotic fluid, I didn’t know that’s what it was until I called the nurse and explained what was going on. I called my mom to let her know what the nurse said and she asked me to pick her of from work so we could go to the hospital. (I learned to drive shortly after I found out I was pregnant because I drove myself to and from appointments) After picking up my mom we went to Vs house so he could drive us just in case something happened.
We got to the hospital and I was in the triage room for some time before they took me to my own private room. My placenta had a very small hole but that was enough for them to keep me. I was having contractions but not very strong contractions. So they gave me patocin to induce more contractions. This little tiny pill caused me the greatest pain of all. I didn’ know how to breath in and out so every contraction I would get i would hold my breath, which made the contractions worse. I was in a labor for almost 24hrs before they decided that I needed and emergency c-section. See I dilated and my body was ready but then again my own body failed me. My hip bones were not developed enough to go trough the process. I went into the operating room by myself, I was scared I didn’ know a face in the room. I was 16 and surrounded by people I had never seen in my life. A nurse was nice enough to hold my hand through the process because he saw how scared I was.
August 28, 2008
Noah M. was born on August 28,2008 weighing 8 pounds 7.8 he was a big boy. The first time I saw him he definitely had very strong lungs because he was crying like no other. I remember saying “hi baby” and he went silent, the nurse holding my hand said “he recognizes you” and I started crying. I guess I was in disbelief that such a tiny person who just came into this world knew who his mother was. They took me to the recovery triage where my mom, v, family and friends came to see me.
I was discharge 3 days later and the rest is pretty much history. I didn’ share anything about the relationship that Noahs dad and I had for a reason. I feel like it’s not needed. I have a life, a family and I’m happy and that means he does too.
I will say that it is okay for two people to go their separate ways, sometimes in reality you’e not as ready as you thought you were. That goes for friendships too, I lost a few people here and there but that’s okay. Also don’t let people tell YOU that you won’t amount to anything because you had a baby at a young age. I graduated with my class and with honors. I went to community college after taking a one year break to be with Noah but I went back. I’m still working on getting certified because I switched what I wanted to do and because life happened and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter when you get there what matters is getting there.
This one was a long one and I know I missed a lot but if you have any questions please let me know.
Thank you for reading my side of the story…
Until next time